Press Release From the Team Formerly Known as "The Campbell Brothers"

(This was originally posted by me, in response to Kent's disdain for my cutting Jason Campbell, on our league's message-board; I was compelled to share the lulz here as well...)

First off, I'd like to start off the press-conferencin' on a hearty note of congratulations for Santana Moss--191 total yards and that glorious, season-defining touchdown--that was a gameball-worthy performance...and as soon as this press conference is finally over, this team is going straight to Pizza Hut! Coach's treat.

I would like to comment here on what Coach Groh said about my handling of Jason Campbell's recent, unconditional release from the team this past week. Let me make myself perfectly clear here: you will never find a bigger Jason Campbell supporter than myself; not in this league, not in any league. In fact, I am proud that this is the third year in a row that I've had JC start out a fantasy season as my team's primary backup signal-caller.

Speaking from the position of familiarity I've developed with JC over the course of our three year fantasy relationship, I can say that, well...sometimes Jason just needs some good old-fashioned negative reinforcement--which is exactly what I was giving JC when I directed that "doody head" remark towards him--to play at his very best. Despite the fact he was no longer on my team, JC's stellar performance yesterday still validates our sacred fan/coach-player bond.

Jason Campbell is a player on the verge of greatness. However, all his impending greatness would just be wasted behind Donovan McNabb--who is, after all, undeniably better than JC right now, sad to say--on my bench, all season long. It is for that reason, out of fairness to Jason, that I owe him the chance to go out and try to land a starting job elsewhere, so that he may continue to grow as a player, and as a man.

I am ever honored to have been a part of Jason's journey, and wish him luck in his future endeavors...

P.S. -- Coach Groh, while JC's 321 yards and single touchdown yesterday were indeed impressive, the guy I signed to replace him on my bench, Philip Rivers, happened to throw for 377 yards and three touchdowns. THAT, my friend, is "blowing up."

P.P.S. -- Alright, squad! Whistle's blowin'! Pile into the mini-van...it's pizza-time!