Saturday's Ridiculation Shall Be Unbounded...Part One: The NFL Draft Drinking Game

So tomorrow is the NFL's annual meat market college draft. Yale gets the credit for coming up with these drinking rules, but all I know is that we're actually doing it tomorrow, and by the time the 5+ hour-long first day is over, we're all gonna be ripe for the ensuing dance party which shall immediately follow the draft's end. Hopefully it will be a full-on celebration of the Skins' recent aquisition of either Chad Johnson, Anquan Boldin, Roy Williams (11 not 31) or one of the two beast UVA linemen should we keep our pick (super unlikely though.) In either event, we'll be too blasted to care if it turns out we've traded for Jason Taylor or some stupid shit...


Drink whenever Mel Kiper uses these draft cliches:
"Makes all the throws"
"Makes people miss"
"Good initial burst"
"Good separation"
"Shut-down corner"
"Lacks range"
"Upside"
"Motor"
"Explosive"
"Project"
"Reach"
"Blue-chip"
"Tweener"

Also drink when:
They mention the new format of the draft
The Redskins make a terrible trade
The redskins trade a future draft pick
Mel Kiper’s hair is mentioned
Ryan Leaf’s name is invoked
You hear the phrase “on the clock”
Chris Berman says “The Raaaiiiidddahs”
The Lions draft a WR!
The Commissioner mispronounces a name
A player is taken from a ‘directional’ school (i.e.: Northeast Louisiana)
The cameras show a pissed off Jets fan in the audience
Berman uses a nickname for a player
Someone mentions that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round
You hear the word "spygate"

And, for good measure, do a waterfall every time:
a trade is announced
the Vikings let their pick pass by
the last player in the green room is picked.
Eddie Royal (South Lakes HS represent!) is drafted.

Ocho Cinco Specials:
If an analyst talks about the potential of Bengals WR Chad Johnson getting traded…drink!
If Chad Johnson actually gets traded…drink twice!
If your favorite team traded for Chad Johnson…do a shot!

Manning Specials:
Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton Manning…drink!
Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton and Eli Manning…drink twice!
Every time you see a commercial starring the whole Manning family in it…do a shot!