For the last 5...6 minutes or so, I've been perusing this year's list of Grammy nominees. And it looks like the annual music-as-commodity handjob-fest, now about to celebrate its 50th year of existence, is the same as it's ever been: shittier than Ruben Studdard's underpants a couple hours after chinese food night at the Golden Corral. A few quick observations...
Song Of The Year
How the FUCK can "Hey There Delilah" - Plain White T's be nominated for an '07 award when their song was originally released on their album All That We Needed, which dropped ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO on January 25, 2005?! Annnd...though my inner English major is a-itchin' to, I'll withhold major comment on that stupid fucking apostrophe in the band's name. I could write a novel...
Oh well...if there's any justice "Rehab" or "Umbrella" will win.
Best New Artist
Hey Grammys, Feist's first solo--i.e. not Placebo, not By Divine Right, not Broken Social Scene--album CAME OUT IN 19-FUCKING-99. She may be "Best," but she certainly ain't "New."
(And, yes, I did see the caveat listed in the category which stated "For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist." I just think that's fucking lame, and somewhat disingenuous. Instead of calling it "Best New Artist," re-name the award "Best Artist Who For The First Time Sold A Lot Of Music To A Whole Lot Of Stupid People This Year" and I'll call it square.)
Best Electronic/Dance Album
Actually, this is the only category in which I didn't loathe most of the nominees. LCD Soundsystem's "Sound of Silver" and Justice's "†", especially didn't suck this year. No, wait...that's unfair: both albums were really really really good.
Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
A nomination so shitty it doesn't even deserve thoughtful typing: "Our Country" - John Cougar Mellencamp
I INVENTED THE PIANO KEY NECKTIE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, GRAMMYS?!
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